It’s too early for the long range forecast

It’s too early for the long range forecast

One of the ways I am being treated for being a nutball is talk therapy. For someone who isn’t generally good at in-person conversation, I find talking to my doctor easy, even when the topics are hard.

This week, my dude asked me: what would happen if I was just open about everything? Not just with him, but with everyone in my life. What if I were more transparent about my inner thoughts instead of defaulting to operating in silence.

At first I was like, what? I talk about all kinds of stuff. But as we began to unpack the topic going back as far as my childhood, it’s true. I hold so much close to the vest because people shouldn’t talk about those things or I can just figure it out on my own or I don’t feel like getting into an argument over it.

Some topics are indeed private or best not discussed in all forums. But, I don’t know how to get comfortable constructively communicating about interpersonal topics in general. On the surface it seems like a simple task, but I have to unlearn 44 years of conflict avoidance and isolating behavior. But what have I got to lose?

Maybe one of the reasons motorcycling is so important to me is that offers a curious balance between isolation and still being able to experience the world. It’s emotionally safe, exciting, enlightening and an education all wrapped into one activity. Motorcycles are magic.

This morning while I was walking the dog I felt the first faint glimmer of excitement about something in a very long time. The idea that I will soon be exploring a little part of the world on my bike actually made me feel good. While it’s too soon to get excited about the long range forecast of what that feeling meant, I hope that turning corners in my mindset is just as good as turning them on my momo.

11 Replies to “It’s too early for the long range forecast”

  1. Amen, sister. You’re waking up. Sometimes the shit has to get really real in order for us to learn from it and make conscious changes for the better. I wish you many amazing discoveries. Both the big-ass, weird, unique road-side kind and the kind that’ve been trapped inside your mind. ❤️

  2. It sounds like the long range forecast is very good. As for therapy the past might be helpful but you can get into a time eating labyrinth. “Why do you think that was? How did that make you feel? Why-Why-Why?” You might want to think of the past as last week or yesterday. Whats really important is how you feel at the moment. Let me know if I’m getting annoying but I’ve been there and want to share what I’ve found to be productive. The most important thing is to be honest and tell him to stop if he goes in a direction you think is a waste of time. This Tuesday I will stick to discussing sloth poop and my early toilet training. Or not.

  3. A guy walks into a therapists office with a duck on his head. The doc looks at him and says “Uh, so, what can I do for you today?” The duck says, “Well, you can start by getting this guy off my ass.”

  4. OMG! “[O]neof the reasons motorcycling is so important to me is that offers a curious balance between isolation and still being able to experience the world” — Me, too! As you doubtlessly know, I’m a quiet, shy introvert which is why people were surprised when I started riding. This captures its appeal to me too. Oh, and can I borrow your term “nutball”? I used to describe myself as a “deviant” back when that word was perjorative but then it evolves into something else and lost the mocking humor I was going for.

  5. Open and transparent… that’s a tall order for anyone who’s spent a lifetime avoiding conflict. I’m on a similar road now for a long time. Rocky at first but it smoothes out. For me, everything was colored by unworthiness. Not worthy of being heard, cared about, loved, etc. Nothing ever happened to me, it’s just how I’m programmed. But each day as I pay attention, it gets easier. Hope you find the same.

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