Category: Muffler Men

How to Meet a Tall, Handsome Man While Riding Your Motorcycle

How to Meet a Tall, Handsome Man While Riding Your Motorcycle

Don’t forget to bring a friend for some extra excitement!

My How To guide for meeting a handsome, tall drink o’ water on your motorcycle.

Step One: Have a Motorcycle

OMG, seriously? You already have a motorcycle? Well then, you’re already part of the way there! Go you.

fuzzygalore yamaha FZ07

Step Two: Navigate to RoadsideAmerica.com

Or, if you’re the extra fancy type, they have an iOS app for your phone. I find it particularly helpful while on the go. But, by all means – don’t listen to me. It’s not like I know a dang thing about finding weird stuff out there on the highways and byways.

While on the site or app, search for, drumroll, please… Muffler Men! Find one that’s close enough for you to ride to.

In the last couple of years, several of them have been on the move, from one state to another. It’s best to consult the oracle so you don’t get stood up on your date.

Now, don’t forget to write down directions, pin on a map, or stick a waypoint in your GPS for your newly found friend.

The Farnham Colossi – Unger, West Virginia

Step Three: Ride your Motorcycle to the Muffler Man

This very well could be the best part of your whole experience. They say it’s the journey, not the destination. I say, why can’t it be both?!

Hot dog wielding Muffler Man in Atlanta Illinois. Great journey, great destination.

Step Four: Bask in the greatness of the Muffler Man

Some people might think, if you’ve seen one muffler man, you’ve seen ’em all. Some people are also idiots.

Though they were cast from the same mold, over time Muffler Men they’ve been repainted and repaired, customized and modified in ways that set them apart from their original look. I’ve seen some big guys with eyelashes, chest hair, unique clothing, or holding different objects. Like people, they’re the same but different.

Each time I visit a muffler man, it makes me happy. I have seen quite a few in many different states. Every visit is unique, be it from the journey I had to take to bask in the glory of the muffler man, or just the big guy himself. It’s always worth the trip.

Fuzzygalore gemini giant muffler man wilmington illinois
My Holy Grail: The Gemini Giant – Route 66 – Wilmington, Illinois

Step Five: Share pictures of your date with a Muffler Man

If you brought a friend, have them take your picture in classic muffler man stance with your new fiberglass buddy. Flying solo? Who doesn’t love seeing your motorcycle parked next to cool stuff?

Pictures or it didn’t happen, people.

Hey, buddy! – Wilson, North Carolina

Step Six: Be awesome and tell me about it!

Have you visited a muffler man? Did you have a fun time getting there? Tell me about it. Have a blog link, an Instagram link, or something else to share about a muffler man? Leave a comment below!

Miles and smiles, my friends.

The Rapture of a North Carolina Muffler Man

The Rapture of a North Carolina Muffler Man

Much like the Spanish Inquisition, no one expects a religious experience.  It’s just one of those things that sneak up you when you aren’t lookin’. If not the sight of Saint Pete at the gates or Archangel Michael eating tacos, what could you attribute the expression on this guy’s face to?

Point of note: One of Saint Peter’s patronages is Horology. Horology and Whoreology? These homonyms are two entirely different things and will guide you down two very different internet rabbit holes.

Maybe this muff looks so in awe to me because I keep thinking that his lips are an open mouth – My God, It’s full of stars.

But upon closer inspection, he does seems to have bags under his eyes. Perhaps his look is less rapture, more why did I wake up behind a dumpster in a winter coat, with no pants and one shoe on. I mean, who doesn’t know THAT feeling?

Wait, what? No… one… else..?

Well, would you look at the time. Lunch hour is over, best be running along.


If you’d like to visit this muffler man, you’ll find him in Raleigh, North Carolina.

White’s Muffler Man – Wilson, North Carolina

White’s Muffler Man – Wilson, North Carolina

Do you think the people who live in this neighborhood are tormented by the irresistable urge to wave back to this muffler man? I mean, look at him. What a friendly guy.

“Mornin’, Bob. Have a great day at work.”

“Hi, Mable. Hair looks great today.”

“Hey, Jimmy. Goodtaseeya, buddy.”

Maybe it’s like when you ride by horses and say horses or moo at cows when you pass. Or maybe I’m losing my mind.

Address:
701 Hines St. S.,
Wilson, NC

Paulverizer – The Cyborg Muffler Man of Buena Vista, Virginia

Paulverizer – The Cyborg Muffler Man of Buena Vista, Virginia

This ain’t your mama’s muffler man. No, this? This is somethin’ else! You’ve got that familiar sturdy jaw and that manly mug but that’s about it.

And a nice little hat tip to the motorcycle.

Unfortunately, with the sky so hazy and the crazy backlighting, I didn’t snap very many good pictures. I should probably learn how to use a camera. Since I bungled this, you should probably take a ride along the Blue Ridge Parkway and pop off in the town of Buena Vista, Virginia to have a look for yourself.

Paulverizer on Roadside America

The Very Handsome Muffler Man of Hancock, Massachusetts

The Very Handsome Muffler Man of Hancock, Massachusetts

Well, well, well. Would you look at this dapper gent with his new paint job!

The last time I stopped in for a visit The Big Man was suffering from a heinous case of the peels. This picture was snapped in 2012. He’d even lost his hat. Poor fella.

Seeing him looking so polished does the ole ticker good. Just look at that bowtie!

One of the funny things about Muffler Man repairs is how they become personalized. For example, the Uniontown, PA Bunyan with his bedroom eyes and the Stony Point, NY giant with his muy macho chest hair. Well, get a load of the lunula on this guy!

…and he matches the Bonnie.

Welcome back, handsome!

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