Tag: Haiku

Do Not Read This Post For New 2010 Honda VFR 1200 News

Do Not Read This Post For New 2010 Honda VFR 1200 News

It seems like the same old news circulates around the blogosphere these days. The same spy shots, the same hot stories about new bike models or the demise of old ones. There doesn’t always seem to be room in the motorcycle blog world for the little guy who doesn’t peddle up to the minute industry news to compete. Well damn it, I may not have any hot scoops, I may not be able to help you fix your fuel injection but what I can do is be snarky. So with that, I give you:

the hideous 2010 Honda VFR 1200

2010 Honda VFR 1200 Haiku

hideous land beast
ugly giant can mocks me
moshi moshi fug

Sixteen thousand clams
have you lost your blessed mind
no free centerstand

my poor eyes they burn
Interceptor waves goodbye
foul rancid dumpling

Please – Join me with some VFR haiku of your own below!

Dollar Store Haiku: Dirty Pastries

Dollar Store Haiku: Dirty Pastries

It’s that time of year again. Time for me to once again head on over to the Dollar Tree to pick up el cheapo gift bags, wrapping paper, tape, and hideously aged candy. I have oft imagined a network of sweat-shop elves wearing beer stained wife beaters, green cigarette-burned tights and a yellowish hue in their beards, feverishly restocking the shelves of the Tree each night. All through the night their chubby digits cramming heavily dented cans of baked beans next to Swirly brand toilet brushes and seemingly brand-less bags of “Chips.”

Last night, my eye-rolling family found themselves once again humoring me as I strode up and down the aisles of the store with a curious mix of wonder and maybe I shouldn’t touch that with bare hands. All the while in my apparent oblivion I chirped things like, “isn’t that awesome?” and “ooh look at that! Can you believe it’s only a dollar?” When yes, they can in fact believe it’s only a dollar because a) it’s a piece of shit and b) every piece of shit in the store is a dollar. See how that works? The whole store… everything in it… $1.00. Hence we have, the Dollar Store err Tree.

That brings me around to one of my favorite pastimes, Dollar Store Haiku. You missed it, I know.

Innuendo Snacks
Swiss Roll in the Honey Buns
Taboo 40 States

Got Jungle Fever
You’re Icing My Zebra Cakes
Sweet Cosmic Brownie

Requires great skill
Taking on Banana Twins
Eat one from each hand