Why You Shouldn’t Eat Motorcycles in Bed

Why You Shouldn’t Eat Motorcycles in Bed

Please don’t eat motorcycles, m’kay?

Everyone needs a little help sometimes. For example, I might consult an online content topic generator to help me stick with the practice of writing something every day. And you might need to know why you shouldn’t eat motorcycles in bed. What we have ourselves here is a win-win situation.

Here are 3 reasons you shouldn’t eat motorcycles in bed.

They’re like, dirty and stuff

You never really think you are going to have to explain to your kid that they shouldn’t stick their tongue through the grill of an oscillating fan after they’ve spent the last 5 minutes singing into it. Wrongly, you assume that the consequences should be obvious.

I feel similarly about eating motorcycles in bed. I mean, clearly, they’re going to get dirt everywhere. And so help me, if my favorite purple throw pillow gets messed up I will cut a bish.

The bed is no place for that kind of filth.

don't eat motorcycles they're dirty

Motorcycles are so filling

Let’s say I eat my FZ07 tonight. I’ll be tipping the scales with an extra 400lbs when I wake up.

When the alarm goes off, and all of those delicious motorcycle parts from the night before are ready to abandon ship – I’ll be trapped under the covers by my newly-found heft.

Listen. No one wants to accidentally poop a turn signal in their bed because they’re too fat to get up. No one.

don't eat motorcycles they're really filling

You’ll miss your sweet baboo

You know? The most important reason why you shouldn’t eat your motorcycle in bed, or anywhere else for that matter, is because you would miss it once it’s gone. A moment on the lips, a lifetime of regret on the hips.

Just think of all of the excellent rides and happy moments you would miss out on. It would never be worth it.

Have a banana instead. They’re good for you.

don't eat motorcycles - you'll miss them once they're gone

7 Replies to “Why You Shouldn’t Eat Motorcycles in Bed”

  1. Former shelves…um no, former selves 🙂
    The question is, “are they still inside us somewhere?!

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