When you cover a couple hundred miles on a day ride from where I live, you see a lot of other people on the road. Being on a motorcycle gives you a unique perch to see inside of theirs cars.
Because we have our own special extra-strength brand of assholishness here in the NY Metro bubble, the chances are pretty good that you will see drivers do things that will make you shake your head. Chances are even better that there will be a few who piss you off.
These are my observations from this weekend.
Hang Up and Drive
The amount of drivers on the road who are doing things in their cars aside from driving is staggering. They’re digging through the glovebox, reaching under the seats, eating, grabbing stuff from the back seat, messing with their dashboard displays, and of course… ON THE PHONE.
Oh, the phone. The blessing and the curse of technology. Do you see someone doing 32 mph weaving across the fast lane oblivious to the parade behind them? Odds are they aren’t drunk. They’re on the FUCKING PHONE!
The number of truly fascinating people worthy of not missing a single brilliant sentence that falls from their lips that I personally know? Exactly ZERO. Who the hell are all of these people talking to all the damned time?
True Story: A teenage girl on the phone smashed into the rear of my friend’s car which was parked in front of my house. She hit it hard enough to break the rear axle on the SUV. It sent her car careening up on to the curbed grass island in the middle of our road. When we ran outside after hearing the huge bang – the girl NEVER hung up the phone. She stayed on it crying to her friend until the police came.
Car Seats, Booster Seats, Kids in Seatbelts
The 70’s are over. Having a toddler crawling around in the back window of the car, cradling an infant on your lap or having little Johnny hanging out the window on the Jersey Turnpike might not be the best idea.
Strap your kid in and see the previous “hang up and drive” section. It’s a jungle out there.
Left Lane Sandbagging
Hey, you! The one in the left lane on the highway going slower than the traffic in the 2 lanes to the right of you… MOVE! Keep right except to pass.
What is it that makes people feel like they have to just park it in the left lane? And then dial up a friend for a chat.