See this girl?
She’s pretty happy to be sitting on her Tiger and getting ready to roll into the evening. She… is me.
Wednesday night’s ride on the Tiger was the first one in about 6 weeks. The minute that I swung my leg over it and pressed the start button, I settled into a place that felt like home. There was a sense of normality in the greeting of it’s unmistakable engine note. I didn’t realize just how much I’d been starving for it.
At the risk of bumming you out, I’ve got to say that I’ve been feeling anything but normal. The recent loss of my dad has left an un-fillable hole in my heart. While I’m working towards returning to the me that my dad was proud of ~ I’m wrapped up in feelings of sadness, grief and a sense of guilt. It is a guilt for doing selfish things, for daring to want to be happy. Even though I know that is the very thing he’d want me to be.
When I clicked the bike in to gear and pulled away I swear that I could hear my dad’s voice rattling around in my helmet, “Hey, Rach!” I guess that is my brain’s way of letting me know that he is still here with me.
I feel like a kook saying it but it seems like I see signs of him in everything. He was in the unseasonably cool breeze that swirled around me as I stood alone in the parking lot this morning. He was in the lightning that traveled through the clouds as I worked my way through my evening run. He is returned to the Earth and he seems to be everywhere.
While I cut down the road – the Tiger felt so good, so tight, so right. The seat felt firm, the bars were in just the right place. The power stood waiting at the ready and the ease and confidence with which it tipped around corners … normal. THAT was the feeling I’ve been looking for.
With the passage of each mile I unconsciously gave myself permission to just be in that moment. I enjoyed my ride and I felt happy. All of the noise in my head went to sleep. That is one of the most beautiful aspects of riding a motorcycle for me – the moment when it allows you slip into the truest, most open form of yourself.
Motorcycles – they’re good for you.
Cheers to feeling normal, if just for a little while.