In the wee hours of Friday morning, the mighty Muffler Man of Elmsford, NY intently ponders the Bunyon-esque nature of his beard.
Just look at him.
Do you see that faraway look in his eyes? Surely he is reminiscing quietly of a time when he was shorn clean, free of his stubbled prison.
‘Curse you, unkempt moustache! Sweet mercy, to be whiskerless once more. Clean shaven. Damn these missing arms! Damn, them straight to hell!’