Tag: Muffler Men

How to Meet a Tall, Handsome Man While Riding Your Motorcycle

How to Meet a Tall, Handsome Man While Riding Your Motorcycle

Don’t forget to bring a friend for some extra excitement!

My How To guide for meeting a handsome, tall drink o’ water on your motorcycle.

Step One: Have a Motorcycle

OMG, seriously? You already have a motorcycle? Well then, you’re already part of the way there! Go you.

fuzzygalore yamaha FZ07

Step Two: Navigate to RoadsideAmerica.com

Or, if you’re the extra fancy type, they have an iOS app for your phone. I find it particularly helpful while on the go. But, by all means – don’t listen to me. It’s not like I know a dang thing about finding weird stuff out there on the highways and byways.

While on the site or app, search for, drumroll, please… Muffler Men! Find one that’s close enough for you to ride to.

In the last couple of years, several of them have been on the move, from one state to another. It’s best to consult the oracle so you don’t get stood up on your date.

Now, don’t forget to write down directions, pin on a map, or stick a waypoint in your GPS for your newly found friend.

The Farnham Colossi – Unger, West Virginia

Step Three: Ride your Motorcycle to the Muffler Man

This very well could be the best part of your whole experience. They say it’s the journey, not the destination. I say, why can’t it be both?!

Hot dog wielding Muffler Man in Atlanta Illinois. Great journey, great destination.

Step Four: Bask in the greatness of the Muffler Man

Some people might think, if you’ve seen one muffler man, you’ve seen ’em all. Some people are also idiots.

Though they were cast from the same mold, over time Muffler Men they’ve been repainted and repaired, customized and modified in ways that set them apart from their original look. I’ve seen some big guys with eyelashes, chest hair, unique clothing, or holding different objects. Like people, they’re the same but different.

Each time I visit a muffler man, it makes me happy. I have seen quite a few in many different states. Every visit is unique, be it from the journey I had to take to bask in the glory of the muffler man, or just the big guy himself. It’s always worth the trip.

Fuzzygalore gemini giant muffler man wilmington illinois
My Holy Grail: The Gemini Giant – Route 66 – Wilmington, Illinois

Step Five: Share pictures of your date with a Muffler Man

If you brought a friend, have them take your picture in classic muffler man stance with your new fiberglass buddy. Flying solo? Who doesn’t love seeing your motorcycle parked next to cool stuff?

Pictures or it didn’t happen, people.

Hey, buddy! – Wilson, North Carolina

Step Six: Be awesome and tell me about it!

Have you visited a muffler man? Did you have a fun time getting there? Tell me about it. Have a blog link, an Instagram link, or something else to share about a muffler man? Leave a comment below!

Miles and smiles, my friends.

White’s Muffler Man – Wilson, North Carolina

White’s Muffler Man – Wilson, North Carolina

Do you think the people who live in this neighborhood are tormented by the irresistable urge to wave back to this muffler man? I mean, look at him. What a friendly guy.

“Mornin’, Bob. Have a great day at work.”

“Hi, Mable. Hair looks great today.”

“Hey, Jimmy. Goodtaseeya, buddy.”

Maybe it’s like when you ride by horses and say horses or moo at cows when you pass. Or maybe I’m losing my mind.

Address:
701 Hines St. S.,
Wilson, NC

The Very Handsome Muffler Man of Hancock, Massachusetts

The Very Handsome Muffler Man of Hancock, Massachusetts

Well, well, well. Would you look at this dapper gent with his new paint job!

The last time I stopped in for a visit The Big Man was suffering from a heinous case of the peels. This picture was snapped in 2012. He’d even lost his hat. Poor fella.

Seeing him looking so polished does the ole ticker good. Just look at that bowtie!

One of the funny things about Muffler Man repairs is how they become personalized. For example, the Uniontown, PA Bunyan with his bedroom eyes and the Stony Point, NY giant with his muy macho chest hair. Well, get a load of the lunula on this guy!

…and he matches the Bonnie.

Welcome back, handsome!

Well, Hello, Mr. Bedroom Eyes – Uniontown, Pa. Mufflerman

Well, Hello, Mr. Bedroom Eyes – Uniontown, Pa. Mufflerman

At first glance, you might think that the Uniontown, Pennsylvania muffler man is your run of the mill handsome Bunyan. But, upon closer inspection? Oh, no, he is not.

union tire muffler man pennsylvania

Check out the come hither eyelashes! ::hubba::hubba::

union tire muffler man pennsylvania

In a funny way, he looks more come at me, bro than some of the other muffler men. It’s probably just the sunlight glinting off of his buff forearm veins.

 

Riverhead Muffler Man Indian – Downed by Hurricane Sandy

Riverhead Muffler Man Indian – Downed by Hurricane Sandy

The Riverhead Muffler Man Indian whose name I’ve just discovered is “Chief Running Fair,” was downed by the winds of Superstorm Sandy.

When I saw photos of the poor guy, torn in half at the waist shortly after the storm subsided he looked like he was reaching for a lifeline from next to his own still-standing legs. “I’m hit!”

My heart broke a little.

Riverhead Mufflerman Indian on Patch.com
Photo from patch.com

This weekend while we were bumbling around in the Ural, we made a pit stop to see him for ourselves. All that was left when we pulled up was his peeling pants. Insert huge frowny face here.

Riverhead Muffler Man Pants

But… as I looked around, I noticed a few feet of his arm sticking out above a fence inside the grounds of the Raceway. It was kind of like he was waving to me saying, ‘I’m over here. I’ll be okay!” And I sure hope he will be. According to a Riverhead Patch article, the owners of the Raceway do intend to restore him. 

Hang in there, big guy!

The mighty Indian just a week before Sandy brought her havoc to our area:

Riverhead Muffler Man Indian in better times

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