When you’re thinking about traveling somewhere or visiting something do you mentally resort to leaving some things in the realm of fantasy? Almost as if to say to yourself, “Well, I could never do that…”?
There have been many things in my life that I’ve relegated to something that only other people can do. Not me. Though I have suspicions based on my childhood, I’m not exactly sure why at this point in my adulthood I’m still lugging that baggage around. It’s so self-defeating.
Even when I move something into the fantasy column, there is still some little flicker of light that burns for the idea. Almost like I don’t really believe myself when I say “I can’t.” How the hell did that become a stock answer, anyway? Screw I can’t. It’s a dangerous lie. I won’t? Well, that’s a whole different game.
I have already demonstrated to myself 1,000 times over that I can do anything I truly desire. It may not happen immediately. Sometimes it takes hard work, money, strength of will, it takes belief and support from others but above all else it seems like those problems are all solved by desire. When it burns hot, it will lead me down the path of working past the obstacles I’ve created and will turn a wish in to reality.
Sometimes I go through periods of time where my brain short circuits and I can barely muster the will to make it through a day without imploding. Today is not one of those days. Today I feel like I can lace up my boots, kick down the front door and say, “Good morning, motherfuckers. Let’s kick some ass, shall we?”
Today? Today I believe I can.
Where will it take me?
Thank you for sticking with me, holding my hand and giving me virtual hugs. Long-time readers see patterns or read between lines. Some of you worry, but please don’t. Even when I sound down know that I have a support system at home that helps to keep me going. It’s been a hard year for my brain but I’m on the upswing. Some of you see more than you say or see more than I say. Know that I appreciate you.
Thank you <3