Dear, Aunt Mildred-

Long time reader, first time writer.

Today I spent some time trying to plan my Void Rally route. You know, based on the waypoints sent out on Friday? There were over 300 of them in total! Oh, Aunt Mildred, I’m so confused, I just don’t know what to do! I’m like a deer in the headlights. Never before have  I been so unable to zero in on a route that seems right. Not even on my first rally.

No matter what I string together, I feel like my route is so low on points that surely it will be a disaster. I’m afraid that when they see our scores posted all the other riders at the banquet will point and laugh at me.

What should I do?

Signed,

Hopeless on Long Island

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Dear Hopeless,

What should you do? Well you could start by going in to your bedroom, opening up the top dresser drawer and pulling out your big girl panties and putting them on.

Bitch, please. Get a hold of yourself!

So you plan a shitty route and you find yourself at the bottom of the score sheet. Who cares? Did you ride? Did you see stuff you might not have ever visited unless someone said “go here!”? Is there beer at the end?

Yes?

Well, then – Plan your ride, ride your plan and screw the small stuff like… points. Ride for riding sake and get your shit together, woman!

Yours in Horsepower,

Aunt Mildred
Badass Honey Badger and Dispenser of Motorcycle Advice