Recently I’ve become acutely aware of how hard it is to make friends as an adult. Thankfully, enjoying the same hobby or pastime makes the process easier. But, beyond the initial introduction, there is so much more involved in opening yourself up to people to the point that you can make a friend.
By the time you reach your 40’s, you’re likely set in your ways with regard to interpersonal relationships. Your past and the baggage dragged forth shapes everything you do.
When it comes to trust, are you the type of person that gives it easily? Or are you someone who hangs back and requires someone to earn it over time?
Today I asked myself whether or not I am a trusting person. And interestingly, I was not able to confidently answer. My immediate reaction was, yes, I am. But, then I started to consider all the ways that I hold most people at arm’s length. It is but a few that get a glimpse of my tender underbelly. All of them happen to ride motorcycles.
The truth is, I don’t know what I’m really like. After all, there is your you and the you that is viewed through someone else’s lens. Is that all there is to measure with – your you and their you? Is there a third you, something like a real you? Or is there nothing “real” and only the perception of the observer? Is the cat really dead and alive simultaneously?
Thinking about the people I call friends, all of them are motorcycle people or spouses of motorcycle people. Is that a common truth amongst those who are passionate about something? It would make sense, really. You can only befriend the people you rub shoulders with.
Are most of your