When it comes to traveling for several days on a motorcycle road trip, barring any unforeseen mishaps or frivolous souvenir purchases your lodging costs will most likely make up the bulk of your expenses. Over the last few years I’ve stayed in some dumps while traveling. Most recently, we stayed in a motel in upstate New York that was a total dive.
I guess I should have known that the place was skeevy when the lady at the desk asked me if I wanted to look at the room first. I’ve never been asked that before. ‘No, I’m sure it’s fine,’ I said as she ignored me and escorted me down the sidewalk. She had the room key and a television remote in her hand. I guess they must lose a lot of remotes in this joint, I thought. In hindsight, I don’t know why she bothered bringing the key with her. The room door didn’t actually lock. You could just push it open. Kenny and I put a chair under the door knob that night when we went to bed.
So what have we got here?
A single bare light bulb illuminating a pink nightmare. A handwritten channel guide taped to the wall. The thermostat had duct tape over it to prevent use. Alongside said thermostat was a note informing us that we shouldn’t use the heat and the air conditioning at the same time. Probably a good tip, that one. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that if you’re hot enough to use the AC you probably don’t want the heat on.
I got the distinct feeling that I smelled like the room the following day, even though I’d showered. I also seem to recall being able to identify individual springs in the mattress when rolling over to try to find comfort in my paper towel-thin pillow. It may have in fact been only the case, it was so thin. On the upside, the bathroom was clean. The place had that going for it. One star lodging at it’s finest.