+home+
 R a m b l e s
  +WELCOME+
  01/2008
  04/2008
  05/2008
  06/2008
  07/2007
  07/2008
  08/2007
  09/2007
  10/2007
  11/2007
  12/2007
  2/2008
  3/2008
  4/2008
  AMSTERDAM
  Architecture
  BERMUDA
  BOLDT CASTLE
  California
  California Dreamin
  Cool Signs
  Deals Gap
  LINKS
  Long Island
  Maine
  MEMORY LANE
  New York
  Non-Moto
  Non-Moto Travel
  PARIS
  Roadside Stuff
  ROTTERDAM
  Sculpture Gardens
  WYOMING.YELLOWSTONE

Pea soup can be pretty tasty on a cold winter day. I would go so far as to say that in the world of soup, pea soup is pretty substantial. It is kind of thick and weighty, it can almost be more like a stew. More often than not I find it quite yummy. But then there are those times that you get a piece of ham in there that has a dangling, wiggly, fat piece that is still attached to it.

As you lift your spoon that piece of ham with the bum fat-leg sits haughtily in its pool of swamp water and glares at you like,
“Hey, how’s it going? Pretend you don’t see me. I’m still a delicious soup.”

For a microsecond you might be like “Ok,” but if you keep your eyes fixed on the scary little globule for more than 2 seconds your gag reflex will kick in and your once delicious cardboard cup of soup becomes a revolting, green nightmare that cannot find its way into the garbage can fast enough.

You had such high hopes for your steaming, hot cup of goodness. To make matters worse, that $4 bucks was all you could scrape together from the bottom of your purse; the last dollar of which you were forced to make out of 3 quarters, two dimes and a nickel, while the guy with the visible dandruff from the 3rd floor insurance firm impatiently shifted in his white Rockports behind you, making you feel like a loser for having to pay with change.

Now you’re slightly sickened and stuck eating a pack of mostly crushed cracker crumbs and a Diet Dr. Pepper for lunch all because some fetid hunk of grizzle had to go makin’ eyes at you.

These boots are like that.

Read Comments (1 total)

Curses! Always the bridesmaid, never the bride. Actually, that isn't exactly accurate. I've been the bride. Always the bride of Frankenstein, maybe? That seems more appropriate given the green theme of my post.

For 2007 Triumph has released the Speed Triple in the finest color known to the human retina. Roulette Green. Looks like I prematurely Triumphed. I know, I know. It happens to everyone, right?

I found this in my picture archive from the 2000 bikeshow here in NYC.

Black Sweater?
     check.
Mop of unruly hair?
     check.
Goofy, Perplexed Look?
     check.
Triumph Lust?
     check.

Read Comments (3 total)

For years, YEARS I have lamented the lack of pink, girly non-custom moto gear. I love pink. It’s my favorite color. I think it may have filtered its way in to my subconscious while being completely enamored with all things Fonzie as a kid. His lady... of course the lovely Pinky Tuscadero. If Pinky was good enough for the Fonz, she was good enough for me. Remember that episode where she was the first woman to drive in the demolition derby? Yea, Girl Power! Although, like many of those who fight for the right to ride “free”, she didn't want to wear a helmet and those damned Mallacchi Brothers ended up sending her the hospital.

So, the gear manufacturer Icon has decided to stamp one of their ladies gear lines with the illustrious Tuscadero moniker. Of course on the outset, I'm like... "ooooh, Tuscadero! This has to be good!" Then much like a freshman girl slinking out of a frat house all slow and quiet, trying to go unnoticed; the cracks in this façade start to show. “Wait a minute,” I say “we’re talking about Icon here.” These are the folks that brought us the BLING gloves.

Okay if “bling” is in the title of an article of clothing, it probably sucks. Any sort of credibility that the suits in the marketing department tried to achieve by adopting slang that kids these days are using, is completely out the window. If my mom knows the word... it’s cool-factor is long since dead, buried and reincarnated into a tree a la “you go, girl.”

“I don’t know. I’m a little scared to look,” I think to myself. I mean really, they have a full line of ladies gear, how bad could it be? Its gotta be worth a look. I’ve seen some pillions riding around town with their thongs hanging out between the gaps of their low-rise pants waistbands and the bottoms of their very cute and stylish pink Icon jackets. I liked each jacket that I saw from an aesthetic standpoint. They’re very cute indeed. I would love a pink get-up. Sadly given the yellow color of my bike, I might look like the aftermath of hot wings and too many $1.00 pitchers at the bar.

Let’s start with gloves. Okay, cute! Not bad at all. I am pleasantly surprised. I’d wear those. Alrighty, this is fun! Pink gear and its not awful!

I click around the net some more to find that they don’t have the jacket & pants in pink for this line so, I give their Kitty line a look. I have seen this jacket around. It may be a tad youthful for me, but it sure is cute. Sassy little stars, womanly cut to the body, armored. Now we’re getting somewhere.

Lulled into a false sense of security by these items I am visually assaulted by [drumroll please] Icon Kitty Chaps. WTF?

Is that..? What… what the.. Is that an embroidered, smoking 6 gun? I feel dizzy. I need a drink. Cold compress. Something. Somebody help me, I think I am going to faint. What kind of insane Pepto-Cowgirl is going to wear these abominations?

As a concept, the full value of chaps, I must confess, eludes me. They’re so non-commital. I want to wear leather pants BUT I don’t want to have the meatiest part of my lower half covered. I want to create a little showcase for my hiney. A display case, if you will. I want my rump roast free to slip through the wind unprotected, much like Ms. Tuscadero’s noggin in that derby car of hers.

Now, I like kitsch. And I like glamour. These have neither. They just seem like a hodgepodge of leftover scraps from their more well thought out pieces. I just cannot move past the glaring corniness of that stupid gun. Look at that thing!

[cue harps for dream sequence]

"Fred, I have these new chaps i've been working on but something is missing."

"Well John, I didn't want to say anything, but they really look like they could use some flames. Maybe some stars."

"Fred! You. Are. A genius!"

With his head down and a gentle swipe of his sleeve across his furrowed brow, John begins to frantically scribble at his drawing table.

"I can't help but feel that they are still a bit, plain. Uninspired. Run of the mill pink, chaps. Oh, divine inspiration, why? Why do you mock me? Come speak your word into my ears. Feed me your sweet, sweet nectar."

With his hand clenched in a fist, shaking it at the air, John pauses. Divine Inspiration has indeed patted him tenderly on the back.

White.
Fringe.

Brilliant.

As I was just typing this out, my 5 year old daughter sat down on my lap and said, “Wow. Mom, are you buying those? Those look cute, I like them.” Oh dear.

Read Comments (2 total)

Long Island Lights Big Duck for Holidays

Been on hiatus here from fg.com. Still alive & kickin' though.
Wishing you and yours a happy, healthy holiday season.

Read Comments (0 total)