Motarded: It’s How I Think of You
My dearest darling boy Kenneth,
I wish with every fiber of my fuzzy being that i could get this for you.
I see joyous visions of you destroying the front lawn and then tear-assing down the street in a fog of maniacal laughter and the stink of exhaust.
Shortly thereafter followed by the unmistakable rumble of the impound flatbed and the cutting sound of sirens as they haul your crazy motarded ass down to the pokey.
Maybe it’s just as well that i’m a penniless loser. I do it for us. For our safety. Yeah.. for our safety.